Adrift

I hate that you don't realize things when their happening.
I'm lying on the couch, having eaten som cookies and had a lot of ice coffee, I don't dare go to sleep.
I'm very tired, but I had a terrible dream last night.
And I feel like having one of my old nights, where I'd be up all night, drawing ad writing.
Cleaning up.

I feel like a big bottle of detox or something.
I'm so full of poisons, and I need to start living again.

It' s time to focus again, I have to finish this school year, I have to do good now, to get into the school I want to go to. I have no idea why I have elected the hardest courses, but I don't know what I want, most of all I want to go to UCLA filmschool, or NYU filmschool.
I want to be able to show what I see inside my head.
I know a lot of people would love it.
Haha, sounds reeeeal "up in the sky"'ish

I'm tired of people talking about rules, conventions, prefered ways.
Why are always people making themselves smaller than what they can be?
narrowing all posibilleties.
Fuck teachers
They become teachers because they can't finish what the want to do.
If u want to be a writer and u can't, why not become a litterature professor? stupid.
I'm never ever going to teach anyone.

teaching narrows things down
past isn't that important, even though they say "if people know, it won't happen again" but history keeps repeating itself all the time, I mean, look around you!
It's fun to learn about other sivilizations, and old sivilizations, but there's not a point in it.
I'm fucking sick of teachers telling me, u should care about what ur learning, but I fucking don't!
I want to learn on my own, a new view.
It' s the only way to evolve.
To evolutionize.

Stop teaching, and go out and learn

xoxo