Sipping cocoa

It feels like my body is trembling from the loss of sanity. I feel agitaded and half asleep.
Didn' t get much sleep last night either, but it' s worth it...

Lately I've been feeling taken over by the urge to stuff my face and throw it back up, but I haven' t.
I feel like I need help, and I know where to get some, but I can't.
I don't have the time or the strenght to deal with this now.
People always say - the only thing you have, is time.
But right now, I don' t.
I have 4 subjects I'm about to fail, and I have a lot of things I always have to do.

If we're all made out of god, why did he create such imperfections, I mean, both sinners and forgiven? Both evil and good?
Why create such a monster? To teach us something??
I personally think, putting someone over you, is giving up, laying all trust, and all responsibility over on someone else. Maybe to have someone to blame when you fuck up. I don' t know every fucking motive, but I think it' s stupid saying that there' s a greater force.
Like driving your car, and then suddenly closing your eyes, to let god stear you're way. If everyone did that, there'd be a lot of ditch diggers around here.

But, religion can be used to MY advantage, I mean, a person begging for someone to watch over him og her, is pretty damn restless, and I could for example do as the smart catholics did back in the day, claim money for salvation.

Or maybe I could start a religion of my own, get stupid people to do whatever I wanted.

It' s very scary, how humans need eachother, and the people that feel alone, often choose god, I mean, if I chose to believe in a green man that went around everywhere, saw everyone, and did everything, I would be admitted, i just DONT understand how it' s not frowned upon to believe in god.

So, I got to bitch about some religion to - great!

xoxo